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| Now that summers just about done i think its time to reflect.
oh before i start, Dictionary's word of the day :)
indurate \IN-dur-it; -dyur-\, adjective:
1. Physically or morally hardened; unfeeling; stubborn.
transitive verb:
1. To make hard; to harden.
2. To harden against; to make hardy; to habituate.
3. To make hardened; to make callous or stubborn.
4. To establish; to fix firmly.
intransitive verb:
1. To grow hard; to harden.
2. To become established or fixed.
Thats my little thing this summer, i try and read the word of the day, everyday. haha Anyways....
Looking back i feel pretty accomplished. I made a list of things i want to do and for the most part i did them. I took initiative this summer. Very proud.
Though this summer still has not been easy. I've been trying to overcome personal obsticles. Which thinking about it i dont know if i can overcome them alone, i may have to venture out.
The bad about summer shouldnt be talked about XP. Im having this new approach where i just forget about it, let it go most of it doenst matter enough to make a scene about it.
The good, well there was lots of it. Lots of hanging out im trying to hang out with lots of different people. Im trying to meet new people expand my circle of friends.
Looking forward to the future is frighting!
well not really, its more exciting than frighting. I finally made it to senior year, which took a little over a second to get too. haha. I feel like 8th grade was just yesterday! ah wow, all my lasts are coming up. last winter dance concert, spring dance concert, asb ball, prom.. but i feel im ready, i really want to get started with college, college classes to me inspire me to do more. even if all ive taken were a couple of junior college classes. i feel like since you have a choice to what you take you can take things that are interesting to you. sure you have to do the general education requirments but you still have choice.
I feel like i need to give up my high hopes for my senior year and college, i think i put those things up on a pedistool. i dont want to disapoint myself. I need to be realistic.
Mmm, last thought, Scrubs has been amazing :) i watch it EVERRRRYYYDAYYY! :)
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I Love Oprah
She is truely my hero.
Watching the tv special on the leadership academy she made for this south african children is moving.
This is what i want to do when i grow up.
No matter the pay or the poor conditions i want to help out others in less fortunate conditions around the world.
I want to help out as much as i can.
Recently i have made the conclusion that it is really not what i do when i grow up that makes me, its how i live my life.
My job doesnt make who i am.
The job should fit into my life. It should come naturally to me.
There is always more than one job someone can do throughout their lifetime
This is something i want to persue.
Im not sure on what to call this job cause i dont know what it is.
i just want to help. | | |
| Dont you hate it when someone can always find or get you, but whenever you need that person they are never there? it seems thats been happening alot lately, or at least i feel it is. Writing that first sentence right now has brought another thought into my head, what if its not exactly all them not being there for me, its me closing myself off when i need someones insight most. Alot of the time i dont like to express deep concerns i have been having. i think i need to start opening myself up to those closest to me and share some real problems ive been having.
lately ive been thinking that i need to change alot of myself. reinvent myself again. Similar to how i did this summer, re-evaluate whas been going on around me or whats been going within my own self. I have been becomind lazy, unmotivated and quite frankly really boring. Something else that i know i have to change cause its something i dont like about myself is how i keep saying im going to do this, or do that but i never do. i take the time to think of how i am going to change or do something, but i dont take the initiative to actually go out and do it.
i am sorry to those who i have neglected in this past school year.
i am sorry to those who i have been rude to or inconsiderate.
i am taking this time to re-evalutate life and everything dealing with it.
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| Ah im trying to DESTRESS.
but its not working. this is blah i need a break from school. really now, if they switch semesters they should really give us a break. TWO WEEKS!!! pleaaaase! gah, i really need one.
Who else can't wait for summer? i cant, like forreaals. i really cant. i cant wait for those long summer days on the beach. those long lazy days laying around the house in shorts and shirt. i cant wait to wear a bathing suit everyday. i cant wait to get a tan. i really cant wait cause this year i have a license which means i can go wherever! yes i really cant wait.
Summer please come soon.
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| ASB Ball was so much fun :)
i'll keep it short. basically a really fun time.
overall lifes been pretty good, nothing too much to complain about.
just a thought though,
i hate being/feeling envious and jealousy.
those emotions are stupid. i hate them alot.
i always am feeling that way lately, i dont say anything to show them off most of the time, but man how they are bottling up. -___________-
Envy&jealousy.
GAH!
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